You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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