a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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