Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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