just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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