well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
