just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
