We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
