He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
