i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
