is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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