Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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