I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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