I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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