Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
