So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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