My room smells like vodka and shame
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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