he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
