I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
