Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
