I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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