I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
