it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
