There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
