okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
