Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
