So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
