Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I enjoy the company of your penis
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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