theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
