The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
