i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
