I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
ok first of all what the fuck
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
