Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
