My friends, they love my intelligence
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
