were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
