Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
