he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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