How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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