Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
