I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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