I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
