Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Randomize
