This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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