I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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