I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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