I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
