how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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