Your tits are I can't wait for
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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