So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
