you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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