Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
